lilies

I was sipping my coffee and having my one on one with Jesus this morning when he spoke to my heart!

As all mothers know, when you are sick everything falls out around you! Your husband, children, house and simply everything else as if the previous wasn't enough. I promised myself that I would stay in bed and take care of myself no matter what the cost!! Well, let me just say that I paid plenty, but not nearly as much as Jesus did on the cross.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, God told me last week that I was "exactly where I needed to be" and today he showed me why.

"We must learn to speak to the angels. Turn to them now; tell your guardian angel that these spiritual waters of Lent will not flow off your soul but will go deep, because you are sorry. Ask them to take up to the Lord your good will, which, by the grace of God, has grown out of your wretchedness like a lily grown on a dunghill." (J. Escriv'a, In Conversation with God p:42)

I am the lily that He has grown through all of the pains of this world. Our world as we know it, is not what He planned for us. We are so broken and so turned around that to some of us it seems we will never get it back. Abortion, Feminism, Selfishness, Righteousness and the list goes on from there. How could He prove to me or anyone else that He is God and He loves us. He would "grow a lily out of a dunghill"

Years ago, while I was in Church, I closed my eyes and saw Mary standing before me with a little girl dressed as a bride. It was as if She was presenting the little bride to me. Years later, Mary placed in my path the "The Little Lilies of the Eucharist" in which I prepared for, and became a Little Lily last summer. Shortly following, this blog came about and then I started my ministry, Lilies of the Valley.

He has prepared a way for me! My path is through the Valley! My path is lined with Lilies and these Lilies are my reminders of His love for me. I will pick from the Valley, fresh Lilies, everyday until He comes for me, and this will be a token of my love for Him.

throwing in the towel

I was just looking through some drafts (post I have not posted) and I came across this one. I guess I was in a rough spot a few days ago and needed to vent :)



it's time......oh it's way pass time, but I'm going to throw in the towel. It's worn, faded, ripped, full of holes and barely able to absorb the tears rolling down my face.

The towel that I have held so tight in the grips of my hands has to be put to rest. I've hidden behind it and I've wiped blood, sweat and tears with it.

What am I talking about? I'm talking about letting go and letting GOD. No matter how far I've come there are still many many of miles to go. One step forward and three steps back. I'm tired and I've grown weary. What a blessing for God to bring me to my knees so I can see exactly where I am. I'm cold........my heart is hard...........but I'm so full of love. How can this be? Past life experiences. The way I was raised. Not horribly, but now the way I would want my children to be raised. But still, after all of this, I do it over again.

Sometimes I wonder what God is doing when he tells me that "I'm exactly where I need to be." WHAT?